


can't take my eyes off of you

by quoththenightwing



Category: Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Abby's POV, F/F, SPOILERS FOR LEAH ON THE OFFBEAT, it's just a lot of gay pining y'know how it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quoththenightwing/pseuds/quoththenightwing
Summary: that college party scene in leah on the offbeat but it's from abby's pov <3
Relationships: Leah Burke/Abby Suso
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	can't take my eyes off of you

It’s crazy how beautiful Leah looks. No one should be allowed to look this pretty, especially not Leah Burke, whose mere existence makes Abby question her whole self. 

She watches as the aforementioned unfairly pretty Leah Burke settles herself on the drum stool, eyes and hands darting around experimentally to familiarise herself with the kit. She looks so cute in that instance, a little bewildered and unsure, but her freckled hands are holding the drumsticks with a determined grip and she has turned the jitters in her leg into a beat Abby can tell she's working in her head. 

Then Leah starts drumming, and Abby sucks in a breath at the sight before her. Leah’s arms move deftly with a mind of their own, her eyes squinted close with a cute little furrow in her brow as she lets the beat flow through her body and pour out unto the drums. 

When Leah drums, it's like she creates her own little universe and you get pulled in and it's. So. Addicting. Your whole body thrums with energy and you can feel the beat _pounding_ in your core like something thrashing around to rip itself out of your chest. That's what Abby feels anyways.

Watching Leah like that, Abby can't help but go to the oh so dangerous _What If Leah Burke Is My Girlfriend_ place that she thinks she has locked up but she evidently has not. Her traitor mind races to a fantasy, a daydream, of college Abby watching her college girlfriend Leah just tearing the stage up, unleashing her soul onto the drums before her. And when her drum solo crescendos and erupts into an explosive finish, Leah would look up into the crowd and catch Abby's eyes, and Abby would cheer for her girlfriend, jumping up and down and making a lovesick fool of herself but she doesn't care. Leah would roll her eyes but smile, and she would shimmer under the neon lights, looking like an absolute goddess on the stage.

But as Abby spirals deeper and deeper into her dangerous place, she goes into a much more dangerous _What If_ hole. She has been thinking about it since she broke up with Nick (maybe even before) - what if Abby hadn't been a coward and just told Leah how she felt that day in the courtyard? What if Leah felt the same way? What if they kissed and became a couple? What if Abby could have been with Leah all this time?

Then, of course, she starts thinking about what that would mean - them dating in junior year. They would’ve come out to their friends and Nick would've been a little butthurt about it but come around eventually and Simon would've loved it and supported them. If they have been girlfriends (Abby can't even think of that word in the context of Leah Burke without blushing), the whole Martin blackmail thing probably wouldn't have happened and Simon wouldn't have to go through the world of hurt he went through from being outed against his will. But, putting Simon and the others aside, Abby can't help but imagine what she and Leah would've been like if they were a couple way back then. At lunch, they would've probably been draped all over each other, heads leaning on shoulders and arms around waists and fingers laced together under the table. On lazy weekends, they would’ve been sprawled over each other on someone’s bedroom floor, Leah drawing while Abby reads her girlfriend’s copies of Harry Potter. At the talent show, they would’ve teased each other about being each other's rivals, exchanging snarky but good-natured trash talk that would evolve into flirting. Then when it was Abby’s turn to go on the stage, her heart pounding with pre-show jitters, Leah would kiss her good luck (helping nothing with her nerves, of course) and Abby would feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And Abby would be screaming her lungs out during Emoji's performance, rushing to her drummer girlfriend's side right after to tackle her into a big hug, both of them sweaty and high on adrenaline. Abby would've brought a bouquet for Leah, nothing too big and fancy, with some Harry Potter ornaments and the cheap plastic roses dyed pink, purple, and blue. They could've been -

Could've, would've, should’ve. Abby hates feeling this wistful for a life she didn't have the guts to grab. She hates longing for something so much it aches, and every time she thinks about it, she aches more. 

Leah’s drumming slowly trails off, finishing with a small self-conscious flourish. She looks up as if she has just broken out from a trance, her cheeks flushed a little sheepishly. Right then, she kind of looks like when she showed Abby her drawing of them, nervous and almost defensive but also so open and vulnerable. Abby's chest hurts from how cute she looks. How beautiful. How Leah. 

Anyone who looks into Abby's eyes right now can see how moonstruck she is over this girl. It’s almost ridiculous. Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> i love my girls so much <3 rereading this book is like coming home  
> thanks for reading!!!


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